Sunday November 2nd, 2014

I woke up early, went to do some jogging, and did a little cleaning around the house. I then saw an SMS from my girlfriend telling me that she was sick and in hospital, she didn't ask me to go see her, all she said is that she would go back home after she felt well. I could read between the lines of the text she was writing.

What she wrote was something like this :

“ Hello, I am at hospital, I will go home when I feel better”

But what she really meant is :

“Hello, I am at hospital and I would need some money to pay for my fees here, please come by as soon as you can”

I knew this was what she meant, and since she knew that I went out the night before, I could just pretend that I was still sleeping and leave her text unanswered, which is what I did. I knew that because they want something out of me, they would eventualy call to “Check on me” and clarify the situation.

About two hours after her initial text, her mother called me using her daughter's phone, and explicitly asked me to give her money, just like I anticipated a day ago. But she promised she would pay the money back to me, which I am still waiting to see if it is true. We talked and I told her I would just get dressed and drive to the hospital, right away, But I did not do that. I continued my normal routine, took the car first to the carwash, and only after went to see them at the hospital. We talked for about a few minutes and then I gave her the money and lied that I was going to do some work at one of my client's offices.

The truth is, I drove to my aunt 's house to have lunch there, I needed an excuse not to stay at the hospital all day, I had a great sense of success and accomplishment. But what I did not bet on, is the comptempt that narcicists naturaly have for their “victims”. I somehow knew I should expect some backstabbing of some sort from them.

Just when I was eating my Girlfriend called, not to say thank you. Or to ask of my news, but with some more demands. After I gave money to her mother to pay her hospital bill, now she wanted me to drive, all the way back to the hospital and bring her some food.

What were my choices here? Execute myself and spawn new demands? Since all of my moves were interpreted by them as a sign of weakness and greeted with comptempt? Or decline the request and give her ground to say, that I was not supportive enough in her time of needs? I couldn't decline, and I couldn't say yes either.

But the real purpose of her action were pretty clear to me. Her and maybe her mother wanted to make me feel like I did not do enough for them, so that I feel bad about myself. If I do as they are asking, they can move on with more demands and the cycle goes on until they can suck the last drop of life out of me, or if I said no. it would allow them to feel like I was indeed not good enough which would cleanse away the guilt of their own narcisism. An open trap of which they were no escape, I could simply not win here.

Having that in mind I proposed that she get the food out of their own house, and that I would pay for the transport of it, but it is as if her ultimate purpose was that of humiliating me, because she went on “appologizing” for having disturbed me so much for the past few days while she was sick. A way of making me feel like the bad guy. I stayed cool, cause I knew that I had no winning move, but the rage inside of me, kept growing because I felt like she should be greatfull, but instead, there she was, playing mind games with me, and winning.

Right now, there are a few things possible, either she will call me late when she gets home. Or She will actually not call me at all.

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