I woke up early, went to do some jogging, and did a little cleaning
around the house. I then saw an SMS from my girlfriend telling me
that she was sick and in hospital, she didn't ask me to go see her,
all she said is that she would go back home after she felt well. I
could read between the lines of the text she was writing.
What she wrote was something like this :
“ Hello, I am at hospital, I will go home when I feel better”
But what she really meant is :
“Hello, I am at hospital and I would need some money to pay for
my fees here, please come by as soon as you can”
I knew this was what she meant, and since she knew that I went out
the night before, I could just pretend that I was still sleeping and
leave her text unanswered, which is what I did. I knew that because
they want something out of me, they would eventualy call to “Check
on me” and clarify the situation.
The truth is, I drove to my aunt 's house to have lunch there,
I needed an excuse not to stay at the hospital all day, I had a great
sense of success and accomplishment. But what I did not bet on, is
the comptempt that narcicists naturaly have for their “victims”.
I somehow knew I should expect some backstabbing of some sort from
them.
Just when I was eating my Girlfriend called, not to say thank you. Or
to ask of my news, but with some more demands. After I gave money to
her mother to pay her hospital bill, now she wanted me to drive, all
the way back to the hospital and bring her some food.
What were my choices here? Execute myself and spawn new demands?
Since all of my moves were interpreted by them as a sign of weakness
and greeted with comptempt? Or decline the request and give her
ground to say, that I was not supportive enough in her time of needs?
I couldn't decline, and I couldn't say yes either.
But the real purpose of her action were pretty clear to me. Her and
maybe her mother wanted to make me feel like I did not do enough for
them, so that I feel bad about myself. If I do as they are asking,
they can move on with more demands and the cycle goes on until they
can suck the last drop of life out of me, or if I said no. it would
allow them to feel like I was indeed not good enough which would
cleanse away the guilt of their own narcisism. An open trap of which
they were no escape, I could simply not win here.
Having that in mind I proposed that she get the food out of their own
house, and that I would pay for the transport of it, but it is as if
her ultimate purpose was that of humiliating me, because she went on
“appologizing” for having disturbed me so much for the past few
days while she was sick. A way of making me feel like the bad guy. I
stayed cool, cause I knew that I had no winning move, but the rage
inside of me, kept growing because I felt like she should be
greatfull, but instead, there she was, playing mind games with me,
and winning.
Right now, there are a few things possible, either she will call me
late when she gets home. Or She will actually not call me at all.
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