My journey into BPD continues, and every day and every week of every month of every year is always a revelation. The self introspection it seems never ends. Authoring the past also seems that way; And also the future. And having an introspection back into the past to understand what trully is the cause for borderline personality disorder. Up to now I have always believed that the abused I suffered as a child at the end of my cruel aunt was the reason why I developed this mental illness. But as it turns out, I needed to go back further and to realize the actual moment of the creation of my BPD was caused by the death of my mother.
And the fear of abandonment begun when she went away as usual and next thing I heard was that she had died. I don't blame her for that, as no one wishes to die and leave their children unprotected. All I am saying is that it is not the child abuse that caused the BPD, rather the going away to never come back.
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