Story of My LIfe

Dear Blog, I am stuck. In a pattern of repetitive fights with my wife. It doesn't matter what I do to try and create peace and harmony between me and her, it always seems to backfire and make things even worse. And nothing is worse than this impression I have that she always seems to align herself with the things in my life that persecute me.

Your normal life is like things might sometimes go wrong, but for me a borderline they all go wrong at the same time. I keep holding on to the hope that they somehow might get better, but it doesn't matter how long I look for peace, the downfall always is seen to come quicker than expected.

Almost as if I was battling an invisible enemy, that I am. and also as if the invisible enemy was hiding behind the person With whom I share a bedroom every night. Yesterday we were supposed to fight. But instead, I sat in front of my computer and focused on my blog. Oh God, this is sickening... Being constantly on my guards, waiting for her to strike at me is exhausting me. This is what I know about people who are in relationships with borderline people. They are either very ignorant or very cruel.

And How terrible to have someone who is openly disrespectful and doesn't mind showing you that they are for you simply for the narcissistic benefits. To my fellow borderline people out there I can only tell you one thing, BPDs we attract narcissists like shit attracts flies. So here I am, repeating the very same mistakes I have made with all my other relationships; Except that this time I am married to my tormentor. I really was hopping that Once, a girl or woman was married she would feel comfortable or safe enough to avoid childish behavior, but no.. and this is what I have discovered. I might be sick, but she is definitely CRAZY, and for her, it's not even a disease. That is her natural state of affairs.

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