
People mean well. If youâve been struggling with chronic illness (and/or mental health), odds are some very well-intentioned people have provided unsolicited advice. But hereâs the thing ââ âsometimes the advice given has an opposite effect of its intent. It is unhelpful.
As someone who loves to help, one of the biggest things Iâve learned on the receiving end is this: When advice is given without 1) trust to speak about things and 2) without the recipientâs boundaries in mind, we have what we call toxic positivity. Weâve probably all aided in this (and most likely unknowingly) ââ âso donât worry, youâre in good company. Toxic positivity means the uncomfortableness of pain/suffering makes us want to fix the situation ASAP. And although the intention to help is good, we miss a major thing when we skip over the painâââ we miss the crucial opportunity to sit with someone in the mess.
Presence often speaks volumes over practical advice. Why, you may ask? Because itâs humbling. Itâs saying to the person âI donât know how to make this better and thatâs not my job, but Iâm here for you.â Itâs letting go of perfection and finding beauty in the midst of brokenness. And most importantly, itâs honoring the pain of the one suffering.
There is a time and a place for speaking wisdom into anotherâs life, but as Brené Brown says, âYou canât be a spectator, you must be in the arena with me.â
So sit with your people in the hard places. Let go of the need to fix and be open to what your presence may bring. This isnât easy, but loving people is worth it.
source https://www.programage.com/news/What_We_Miss_Out_on_When_We_Give_Unsolicited_Health_Advice_1595998815593035.html
0 commentaires:
Enregistrer un commentaire