
For the past year Iâve been talking ad nauseam about turning 50. Iâm not sure if itâs because the number seems so unreal to me that I need the constant reminder, or if by saying it out loud Iâm hoping others will respond with shock and amazement and give me the, âReally? You donât look it!â obligatory compliment Iâm clearly seeking. Probably both.
I know, â50 is the new 30.â âAge is just a numberâ¦â blah blah blah. I wish that at 50 I could tell you (and myself) that I am wise, no longer superficial, and above all of the BS and labels society bestows on aging women and especially aging women with disabilities, but well⦠not so much.
I wish I could say that after losing both my parents unexpectedly and living for 50 years with a progressive neuromuscular disorder that slowly nips away at my independence and everyday abilities, that Iâve evolved and wake up feeling grateful each day for everything I do have. Hmm, sometimes.
The truth is that Iâve learned life is hard and doesnât get any easier. Itâs the knowledge and acceptance of this fact, in combination with oneâs ability to adapt and work through lifeâs inevitable challenges, that comes easier with years of practice.
So, in honor of my upcoming birthday, here are 50 lessons Iâve learned about life, being a woman, and living with a disability.
- Donât take things personally â Itâs never about you.
- Spend time with people who accept you and others. Those mean girls who didnât let you sit with them in the lunchroom are likely replaced by bitter old women who donât invite others to play in their mahjong games at the retirement center.
- You can never have too many reading glasses.
- The VIP skip to the front of the line pass is usually worth it.
- Most men prefer curvy over skinny and donât notice cellulite. Stop obsessing!
- Asking for help is a sign of strength, never weakness.
- Your thoughts are only thoughts, not facts. Question and challenge the negative ones.
- Botox works. Start early and youâll need it less.
- Everyone has something! Itâs how we deal with our somethings that matters most.
- If people regularly post about how great their spouses and lives are, theyâre probably miserable.
- When your older teen says heâs âgoing to the park,â heâs probably going to smoke weed.
- Everyone isnât staring at you or even noticing your imperfections, theyâre thinking about their own stuff, or what theyâre gonna eat for dinner.
- If the shoe fits, buy 10 pairs.
- Everything is âFigureoutableâ (credit to Marie Forleo). Be creative and look for alternative routes.
- Your worth is not defined by a number on the scale. Give yourself a range.
- Tell and show people you appreciate them. This is the secret to a happy relationship.
- Give other women compliments, it makes them feel good and takes nothing away from you.
- Show legs or boobs â never both at the same time.
- As bad as it seems today, tomorrow is always better.
- Nobody has extra time â you make room in your life for what is important.
- To be encouraged, look at how far youâve come. To be discouraged, look at how far you have to go.
- If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone elseâs, weâd grab ours back.
- Donât audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
- Get rid of anything that isnât useful, beautiful or joyful.
- Envy is a waste of time.
- You already have all you need.
- Wear sunscreen always. A tan isnât worth age spots or cancer.
- Take a deep breath. It calms the mind and is not just for Yogis.
- If you donât ask, you donât get.
- Donât ask, âWhy me?â Ask, âWhy not me?â
- Nobody is exempt from the challenges of life. Itâs how you deal with those challenges that matters.
- Never get on the scale after eating takeout.
- No matter how much organic kale you eat, you will eventually die. So, drink and enjoy a Diet Coke (in moderation) if you want to.
- Things are never just black or white. Look for the gray.
- Your disability is not an excuse. Donât let it be.
- Sexy is a state of mind, not the clothes or makeup you wear.
- Exercise even when you donât want to. You will feel great when itâs over.
- Take feedback only from those who have earned the right to give it to you.
- Take out the trash. Make your bed. Do the dishes. Pick up the things. Do your homework. Do what you say youâre gonna do. Discipline will give you immense freedom and comfort.
- You can choose to silence or leave a group text.
- When you get tired, learn to rest â not to quit.
- When you hear the word âshouldâ in your head, question it⦠always.
- When we speak openly about our challenges, it gives others the courage to do the same.
- Your marriage will not be a fairy tale, nor will any other relationship you have. Caring for others (and yourself) will always be hard but worthy work.
- You have to be your own advocate.
- No matter what life throws at you, get up, get dressed, and get going.
- You really canât party like you used to. Donât try.
- If you always focus on what youâve lost, you will lose sight of what you have.
- You donât have to finish a book (or anything) you donât like.
- Start living your bucket list today because anything can happen tomorrow, even a worldwide pandemic!
source https://www.programage.com/news/50_Lessons_I_ve_Learned_on_Life_and_Disability_at_50_1599001227839669.html
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