
I can remember the first day I needed to ask for help.
I remember how scared and frightened I was when I went in to see my doctor.
But I remember the relief when, finally, I found out what was âwrongâ with me.
Living with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), major depressive disorder, persistent depressive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is like living under rain clouds and walking through a dark forest; not being able to see whatâs in front of you, and trying to function with anxiety levels that can rise unexpectedly from the simplest of things every single day.
Itâs living somewhere where the heatâs turned up so high, but you feel so cold.
Over the years, by numerous people, Iâve been told to âexpressâ myself; and Iâve been shown a number of ways, journaling for example. While these were all good ideas and helped me a lot, I never felt these were good ways to express myself.
And then I stumbled on poetry.
I remember reading and trying to write poetry in school. While I never thought anything of them, little did I realize I would turn to it once again.
But Iâve never followed the âguidelinesâ of regular poetry, itâs more free verse.
And let me tell you, itâs been a huge lifesaver.
Itâs helped me express things Iâve felt inside for so long, but could never express, the days when life was tough and I wanted to give up, the overwhelming days and the days where nothing I did helped.
And youâre probably wondering, âWhatâs with the picture at the top?â
Letâs get to that.
Part of this group that my counselor thought was a good idea was an âart therapyâ session where we traced our hands and colored them in. While I was finishing mine up with the hearts in the middle, I came up with the title âRemember to Love Yourself,â and it hit me, straight in the face, a poem to go along with this picture.
So here it goes:
Remember you are strong,
remember you are loved;
Remember the battles youâve faced,
and the victories youâve celebrated.
Remember the fears youâve overcome,
and the things that made you weak.
Remember how youâve conquered the days,
even in the darkest of nights,
and loneliness of days,
youâve overcome them all.
Remember all the people youâve inspired,
the ones who thought youâd make it,
and the ones who didnât.
Remember those who youâve lost along the way,
the ones that say âI careâ
but run the other way
when life gets tough.
Remember those that stayed,
through the darkest parts,
through the forest of despair,
and the field of shame,
guilt, hopelessness.
Remember to hold onto hope,
not letting go of that rope,
when you want to give in.
Remember those who love you,
and have stuck by you,
Youâve touched a lot of lives,
because of your story.
Take these hands, and do no harm, but do good, to yourself, and others
What Iâve learned over the years is we can make it through, even with a few âcloseâ people. And Iâve had to learn the hard way that people who I thought would be there arenât, but others are and have still been there.
This is my lesson to myself, for the days that are rough. Remember: you are loved, you matter and the world would not be the same without you in it.
source https://www.programage.com/news/How_I_ve_Learned_to_Express_Myself_on_the_Days_Life_Is_Tough_1601060418608809.html
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