
As someone with endometriosis, one thing Iâm both used to and dread is pelvic pain. Itâs become such a regular part of my daily life that I try not to even talk about it anymore. Not because I feel shame in it, but because my anxiety makes me feel guilty. The more anxiety and guilt I feel, the worse the pain gets.
My treatment for endometriosis is a pill that stops your period. It doesnât work as well for me as I would like, I still feel plenty of pain, but at least I donât have a period anymore, so thatâs something. However, because of that, I feel guilty when someone else talks about how bad their period is. I know I shouldnât feel guilty at all. I still have endometriosis and experience pain, which is valid. Itâs not a competition to see who has it worse off, but I tend to feel bad when I talk about it as if Iâm less worthy because of it.
I find my emotions affect my pain levels, so when I feel these high levels of guilt, it worsens the pain. When my pain worsens, I tend to keep it to myself, which then makes me feel more guilty. I know itâs just my anxiety, but sometimes I rile myself up so much about my pain and whether I can talk about it or not that I cause it to worsen.
Iâm trying to work on the shame and guilt that come from this. Managing my anxiety is essential for managing my pain. Iâm slowly learning that itâs OK to talk about my pain and experiences. I donât need to feel like I have no right to complain anymore because I donât have a period. I have as much right as anyone. Iâve learned that I am not broken just because I feel this pain. Iâm whole, and Iâm worthy of talking about my experiences. As Iâm getting better and better about talking about it, Iâm starting to feel less shame and guilt, and so it isnât aggravating my pain anymore. I still experience it, but I feel a lot better knowing that Iâm not adding to it unnecessarily anymore.
source https://www.programage.com/news/Managing_the_Pain_Anxiety_Cycle_in_My_Life_With_Endometriosis_1600210814863133.html
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