
We are currently seven months into a global pandemic. Iâm saying this because a lot of people have forgotten this or have simply just dismissed it.
Greetings from a nursing facility currently in the midst of a coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak, where I am not privileged enough to forget about it or dismiss it.
While you may not be in this situation, you may be on the same page as me with feeling gaslit about continuing to take the necessary precautions to protect yourself and others â something I am required by my workplace to do and something that I willingly do at home being the daughter of an extremely vulnerable mother. I also willingly do it to show basic human decency and understanding about the current state of the world, particularly the United States of America where COVID-19 is spreading uncontrollably. In my home state, we are currently seeing more than 75,000 cases a day and my county is currently a level three public emergency based on my stateâs four-level health advisory map. The increase in the spread has been credited to several things, including informal gatherings.
Iâm sharing this information because of a recent experience where I was gaslit for wearing a mask at an informal gathering that I was not comfortable attending in the first place. Note that this gathering happened because of the passing of a family member, where, in my opinion, it was not the time to be questioning why my mother and I were wearing masks in the middle of a global pandemic right at the start of my nursing facilityâs COVID-19 outbreak.
Given that masks are proven to be effective, especially when an exposed person wears one, as a courtesy to protect the people at this gathering and to protect myself, I wore one. Actually, I wore two. My mother wore one as well. The following questions were asked:
âAre you double-masked?â
âHow do you breathe in that thing?â
I answered these questions with, âMy facility is having an outbreak,â and âIâm trained to, Iâve been wearing one since March.â
Comments such as âI have COVIDâ were made following a cough, as well as, âyou canât live in fear.â Unfortunately, I canât find COVID-19 funny at the moment given what I witness on a daily basis and at this point, if I were living in fear, I would have quit my job because what I walk into every day isnât fun. No one I know, aside from those who also work in these settings, have bothered to ask about exactly how bad it is or check-in.
Iâve had these conversations, or tried to, with people who are able to go about their lives like nothingâs happening. Iâve been met only with criticism and a complete lack of compassion or empathy. Itâs unfortunate.
Hereâs the part where I talk about my mental health; yes, I was getting to that. The pandemic being draining to oneâs mental health is not unheard of, or anything shocking. For me, actually witnessing the effects of it daily, along with being gaslit for continuing to protect myself and others and take this seriously, has been nothing short of aggressively harmful. A job and facility that I love, I dread going to because it is anxiety-inducing. Iâve broken communication with people who lack empathy and understanding because it was what was best for my mental health. Mentally, Iâm having to train myself to be numb or else I will not be able to function â this is harmful, too. I speak with my therapist on the phone as a way to navigate through this time and have warned her of me likely needing weekly therapy once we have a better handle on this pandemic.
Iâm so happy for the people who are able to go about their lives because they donât have anyone else to worry about. Iâm responsible for myself, my mom, grandmas and grandpas ⦠and you, whether you believe whatâs happening or not.
source https://www.programage.com/news/The_Unfortunate_Response_to_My_COVID-19_Mask__Even_As_a_Nursing_Facility_Worker_1603472414653072.html
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