
Dear caregiver,
Let me start by saying thanks for the time and energy youâve given to meeting my needs.
Iâm aware that you have needs of your own. I also know those needs are going to change over time, and I know what itâs like when something that used to be easier becomes more difficult.
I know what itâs like to want to be independent. Sometimes I think itâs hard for you to face that I know what this is like. You like the role of fixer. You want to be the one to make everything OK. But the truth is, you canât. And thatâs OK. We can help each other the best we can, and we can be there for each other when we canât help in other ways.
Itâs OK to call your frustration, anger and fear what they are.
If you do, you will help me with anger, fears and frustrations. And donât worry, I never thought you were invincible or that you didnât have feelings. I donât think you expect me to be invincible or not to show my feelings. I donât expect this of you, either. We are both human. Both of our bodies are constantly changing. Being alive isnât a static experience. Nor is the worth of either of us determined by what we can do on our own.
If the world has told us otherwise, it shouldnât have.
I hope there can be more to our relationship than the roles of caregiver and of a person needing care.
Iâm here to listen if you want to talk.
And if thereâs someone other than me youâre more comfortable opening up to, being vulnerable around, if you need help with something I canât help with, I understand. Just please reach out for help. Donât wait. Everyone â including you â needs help, at different times, in different ways. Your needs wonât disappear â even if you pretend they arenât there.
And if you have a hard time reading what Iâve written so far, I hope the caregiver in you finds the following reminder easier to read:
You canât take care of me if you donât take care of yourself.
Take care,
Lisa
source https://www.programage.com/news/To_the_Caregivers_Everywhere_Who_Struggle_to_Care_for_Themselves_1603326615016137.html
0 commentaires:
Enregistrer un commentaire